In My Healing Era
If you’ve been following my blog recently, you’ll notice I haven’t posted for about a month. This is because recently, I started a detox protocol* due to having been exposed to mold. My detox symptoms have not been fun, so I’ve had to let myself rest and relax more than usual. I’m in what I’m calling my “healing era” and doing my best to embrace what that looks like for the next few months.
This is the second time I’ve had to detox from mold. Apparently, I have a very “welcoming” environment, so my doctor is running more tests to figure out why this is. After we have more results, we can identify how I need to support my body long-term so I hopefully do not have to continue dealing with this issue.
As soon as I received the mycotoxin test results from my doctor, I felt an immediate sense of both frustration and relief. Frustrated at my body for not being able to recognize toxins and clear them. Relief because it was confirmed that my symptoms were not in my head.
As much as I want to fully embrace this healing era, I’ve had to let myself feel all the not fun feelings - anger, sadness, frustration. Why was this happening to me again? Why am I “not normal”? Why does my body need extra support? If you ever had to detox or experienced any sort of chronic issue, whether it is chronic fatigue, chronic gut issues, etc., you know how difficult it can be in the hard moments. I tend to stay positive but more recently, I’ve realized it’s okay to embrace all of the feels, even the “icky” ones.
I tend to push away the negative feelings because I believe in the power of positivity and the law of attraction. But pushing these feelings away doesn’t work. When I push them away, I create more stress in my body, which in turn creates more inflammation (something I do not need more of as I heal). Allowing myself to feel angry, sad, frustrated, allows me to comfort myself in the hard moments without trying to fix anything. I have the space to simply feel and remind myself that I am human and it is okay to feel anything and everything at any given moment.
As I continue to detox and navigate what is next in my healing journey, I have good days and bad days. On the good days, I’m excited and all for my detox regimen, embracing foods that reduce inflammation, and happy to share with anyone who asks. On the bad days, I’m depressed because I can’t “go with the flow”, anxious about what comes next, and want to be left alone.
The only way I’m able to find peace right now is by reminding myself that this is temporary.
I’ve been through this before, so I know putting my health first for the next few months will make me feel better. This means being more gracious with my body, giving it (and my mind) more rest. Saying no when my body is too tired. Hauling my detox supplements around when needed. Sweating almost every day. Skipping a Peloton class when my body isn’t up for it. Embracing slowness and the joy of missing out (JOMO). Avoiding foods that will agitate my symptoms (foods that I’ll be able to eat again once my body is no longer in a state of chronic inflammation). Not judging myself for sleeping more than usual. Being present. Feeling all the feels.
If you’re in your healing era too, I hope you will let yourself feel everything. You are human and what you are going through is not easy. So remind yourself it is okay, it is temporary, and that you are allowed to feel anything that comes up as you go through this.
One journaling practice I’ve implemented that helps me navigate this phase of life is writing down what I’m feeling each morning. I meditate for 5-10 minutes beforehand and then give myself 5-10 minutes to write down everything I’m feeling. I do not try to justify the feeling or fix the situation, simply acknowledge my emotions instead of suppressing them. This allows me to release any stress that might stem from holding these emotions in.
Another journaling practice I’ve reincorporated is affirmation journaling. After I’m done releasing all my feels, I write down three affirmations and speak them aloud three times. One affirmation I’m continuing to write/speak aloud is “My body is capable of fully healing”. Read more on affirmation journaling here.
If you need support while you’re on your healing journey, I’d love to connect to get a better understanding of what you need. Send an email via my Contact page or send me a message on Instagram: @JessMalingowski. Sending you all the healing vibes!
*My detox protocol is being monitored by my doctor. Talk to a medical professional before starting a detox. Please do not detox on your own.
Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash